May I Join You?
Field notes from courting Nature
I slow down at the mouth of the trail to take in the mountain curves, the bird songs, and the wind that carries them. I take in the Chaparral sea and Cooper hawks as the California sun bears down on my skin. Raptors suspend like gods in the sky, and I’m enveloped in the living incense of sagebrush.
The infinite shades of green are vibrant from the recent rains.
Spring is weeks away, they seem to say.
The wilderness feels peaceful here, yet she is never still. All wilderness everywhere is never still. I want to learn how to feel this peaceful while in constant evolving motion. I want to learn to thrive as the cycle of life and death turns and turns. I want to learn the expression of my unique-self-species, humming, buzzing, and singing as I am designed to.
I am training myself to be a teachable student of the wilderness and her innate wisdom.
Sometimes I ask permission to enter before beginning a hike.
Sometimes, as a part of nature herself, I feel I am always welcomed everywhere.
Sometimes, I forget altogether and take for granted the miraculous flora and fauna that live on this planet because we are the just-right-distance from the sun.
Today, I turn over a new stone.
“May I join you?” I ask.
May I join you?
As if walking up to my lover in our usual sunbathing spot, and flirtatiously asking if I may join him, like we are strangers at the park, even though it feels like I’ve loved him for ages.
The inquiry sounds like a playful combination of teasing sarcasm and genuine reverence.
May I join you?
I’m already here, and I certainly intend to move forward, but I acknowledge my place as your equal, and I also acknowledge your place as part of a great mystery, which I do not control.
May I join you?
And I stand up straight and give you space to respond in your own way. I listen deeply.
May I join you?
Like you have a say in the matter because your experience does matter. Because life is not one-sided, and our movements affect each other.
“May I join you?”
She gives me a radiant smile and a pleased nod. I feel welcomed and warmed.
I walk deeper into the Earth path as a worthy student and smitten lover, my heart overflowing from our lush Wildness.
